Creating safe spaces
The wisdom that is spoken within a parent child session is often so profound.
“I have to be the good one that demonstrates how to be good”
“I have to make sure everyone is happy”
Children internalise the messages of adults and the culture often without filter.
“Now do the right thing, you’re brother and sister are watching you”
This messaging impacts a child’s sense of self and capacity to express themselves authentically. It is messaging that many of us have received ourselves and we often unconsciously continue to express this subtle coercion.
Through noticing this messaging and offering deep empathy and compassion for the presence of it and how it’s kept you safe, we have the opportunity to change its expression in ourselves and in our children. We learn to meet the underlying need so the behaviours change as a result.
What is the impact of this type of messaging?
The child conforms to expectations of good behaviour against their Will.
The child assumes the role of role model doing what is deemed right
The child becomes hypervigilant to rightness and wrongness.
What big feelings can arise from this messaging
* Guilt - I have to be the way others want me
* Blame - others good behaviour is reliant on me
* Loss - I’m not free to be my authentic self
When the role of good is assumed in childhood, and carried into adulthood it can result in feelings of self judgement, behaviours of people pleasing and disconnection with the authentic self.
As parents we have the opportunity first explore our own experience with this messaging. The times when we were told to behave in a certain way to ensure others did too. Once we have done this we can then consciously guide our children to understand themselves and their needs for autonomy and agency.
Let love, compassion and empathy be the key that unlocks the freedom that awaits when we unlearn this messaging and live from choice
The process of returning to our true nature invites so much growth and space to truly know ourselves.
Are you resonating with this journey? Are you willing to be lovingly supported as you reconnect with you true self?
Please reach out and let’s get started together.
0431239166
attaliarose@protonmail.com
